I have noticed a pattern in myself where I put people on pedestals at work. When someone is faster and more productive than me I think that they are so much better than me and I get down on myself and kind of have a crush on them, because I think they are so amazing. Here are my models:

C: person checks 343 prescriptions, gives 50 shots, and types 100 prescriptions
T: he is really smart and productive. I wish I could be that productive
A: think about how amazing he is, ruminate about how I’m not good enough
R: I have a crush on him, I’m not moving towards thinking I am amazing myself

Intentional model:
C:person checks 343 prescriptions, gives 50 shots, and types 100 prescriptions
T: how can I learn from him
A: ask him how he checks a prescription, study more, brainstorm ways I can be faster
R: I am more productive

I think I still have the belief that I am incapable of being that productive even if I try. Also I don’t want to have a crush on this person, and don’t like the pattern I see with that happening. I want to be impressed with myself. Would love some help with this.