I’m 58 and it’s my mother


Why do I still need my mother’s approval?

Every time I talk with her, she raves about other people in the family, she’ll never complement me; if I tell her about an accomplishment I’ve had or award/recognition somewhere – she’ll never say something positive, just says, “Oh yes – well did you know ___________ just did________? It’s the damnedest thing. I’ve talked to her about this before and she says, “Oh, Jill, you know I love you.” I’ve told her it would feel really good to once in a while get some support or acknowledgment from her – she doesn’t give it.

This makes me feel really bad. And I feel like Charlie Brown hoping Lucy will hold the football every time I go to kick it – keep going back with the hope that she’ll change and give me some validation – but it doesn’t come. Am I just being a baby? I know – I’m 58 and shouldn’t need it – but I do. Don’t we all crave approval from our mother?