"I’m a failure"

I just signed up to Scholars about an hour ago, did my thought download and my first two (unintentional and intentional) models. WOW!

I’ve booked in my 20 min coaching call but I’m too excited to wait and wanted to get clarity on what I’ve done so far.

My biggest thought I had was “I’m a failure.” And the reason I thought that was because 3 weeks ago I essentially took a “job.” It’s a 3-month freelancing contract with 8 hour days. I’ve had my own business for 7 years and never had to take any work like this. The reason for taking it is because of the lack of my performance (aka my thoughts – haha).

So while getting this “job”/contract work is the best financial decision for me to do now… it comes with a bunch of “human stuff.”

And one of those (untrue) thoughts was “I am a failure.”

There’s a lot to unpack and I think my model represents a bit more than just the one thought, but here is the original.

I started at feeling (failure), went to A, R, C then T.

C: Doing work I’m unclear on
T: I’m not good enough to run my business
F: Failure
A: See my job as a reflection of me being a failure
R: Constant frustration

It’s probably not constant, but it is frustration! And then I take that mood with me once I finish work.

Here’s the intentional model and how I created it.

Started with the same C and then wanted the ultimate F outcome. Then T, A and R.

C: Doing work I’m unclear on
T: I can learn new things – fast
F: Confident
A: Open and eager to learn
R: Enjoying work/my days

I tried to do as much from my intention/instinct as possible without overthinking it.

Knowing that it was my 2nd time doing this process (first was the book) and of course it won’t be to the standard it ‘could’ be.

BUT… I wanted to get your feedback on what you see.

See if anything stands out?

I know that when I believe I can learn new things – fast… I do feel more confident and be more open/optimistic – which is very helpful.

When I do that, I’m in a more resourceful state and therefore leading to confidence.

My question is two-fold:

1) Could you provide ‘general’ feedback on my two models and share any feedback that stands out?
2) How do I apply this to my everyday life? Do I become more aware of my thoughts and have ‘I can learn new things – fast’ a kind of affirmation? So it’s more intentional?

Many thanks!

Super grateful and much appreciate the support!

Bring on more models and learnings! 😀

To infinity and beyond…