I’m a fraud!

Over the last few days i have been thinking a lot about how i live my life. In certain areas i have really shown up, desicatwd myself and earned my success. In others I hal-ass it and get by. This is partially because i overdrink and sleep and therefore dont have the energy and focus to really care for me and my family the way i think i should. Or is it the orher way around? Do I overdrink becauae i think i am avoiding my thoughts that I half assing it and should be doing more? It is like a chicken/egg problem. What do you think?