I’m beating myself up for how angry I got this morning!

My boyfriend and I got into a heated fight again about money. I have worked so hard on my models and have made progress. But this morning it all went south and I was back to behaving like a wild animal who’s backed into a corner. I was yelling and attacking him. I’m really beating myself up. I know it all comes from fear and when I feel that level of fear, I lash out. Something I taught myself as a defense mechanism at a young age.
I need some help on how I can be kinder to myself.
Thank you!