I just came back from a glorious 10 day hiking trip to the alps that I planned for myself. I have always loved hiking in the mountains. This makes me want to do more and bigger trips and I decided I want to do a trip like this once a year if possible, because it feeds my soul.

My husband doesn’t really care that much about it; he enjoys other types of vacations, like beach vacations. (I went on this vacation with my daughter, not him). I am struggling with that idea. I am making it mean that there is something wrong with us as a couple, he doesn’t “get me,” we don’t enjoy the same type of things. My brain is telling me it’s not normal to take a big expensive vacation every year without your spouse, and makes it seem like there is something wrong with us. And it’s not just that, there are tons of ways we have very different interests. Although we share common values, there is very little leisure activity that we like to do together. I love to dance; he doesn’t. He likes to go shopping in crowded shopping malls, I hate it. He loves science fiction, I can’t stand it.

Model:
C: Husband and I have different interests
T: Our lack of common interests means there’s something wrong with us as a couple
F: Scared
A: Stay stuck in fear, search and find evidence for other ways we are not compatible, don’t seek out other things that might unite us
R: Less connection with husband

C: Thinking about planning mountain trip every year
T: It’s wrong for me to prioritize myself
F: Guilty
A: Possibly don’t plan things that feed my soul, feel angry when husband plans things that prioritize him
R: Don’t prioritize self and feel angry at spouse

Thanks for your help.