First off, I’m on cloud 9 after Brooke’s coaching call “Your thoughts about you” 2 days ago. I found it incredibly liberating to know that I can choose what thoughts to believe and choose my own thoughts at all. I even submitted a very emotional (happy, elated, off the charts excited) “question” yesterday discussing how happy I was and how liberated I feel.
So I’m on an emotional high and the Universe wants to test my new SUPER POWERS!! Which is AWESOME!!!
My gf and I are having an issue and I am having trouble filling out my model. Here are the facts
1) My gf asked if we could move her daughters drumset from the basement to the main floor because she’s not playing it and this would increase her playing
1a) Her daughter is 7 and doesn’t like to be alone and I’m sure the basement might be scary to her.
2) I don’t want the drum set on the main floor beause
a) its incredibly loud
b) it takes up too much space
c) I want out living room to look like a living room, our fireplace room to look like a fireplace room etc and not be taken up by this huge drumset that is out of place and ,,,,whatever
d) I doubt she would actually use it in the end anyway
e) there’s a part of me that is reminded of Brooke saying to someone “I don’t need a reason (to have a wedding), I can just want it” and my mind is saying I don’t have to have a reason not to want the drum set upstairs, I just dont want it (despite my 4 reasons).
3) My gf asked me, I didn’t say anything but my answer was no, she surmised that immediately and goes into shut down mode and is visibly upset.
At this point its almost pointless to have a conversation with her until she works this out
In the past this would send me on a massive spin because I wouldn’t want the drumset upstairs and would feel guilty. I’d be scared, worried or hurt that she’s mad at me and my old pattern is to have thoughts that this isn’t going to work out and we need to break up (long story behind those embedded feelings haha)
With my new Super Powers I can recognize that my feelings are trying to take over and I don’t have to let them nor believe them and everything will be ok.
Here’s my model
C: My gf asked me to move the drumset upstairs
T: I do not want the drumset upstairs
F: Based on her reaction I’m fighting feelings being scared, tension, stress, worried but I’m doing really good not believing them or letting them take me over
A: I try to comfort her but she’s in shut down mode so I end up not as loving because she does not want to listen to how her thoughts create her feelings etc etc
R: We are distant with each other and she decides to sleep on the couch and I go do my thing
Thank you for your help.