My son is sixteen years old and it’s a shared custody situation. He wants to play the Fortnite video game basically every waking minute when he is not at school. He doesn’t have friends (outside of online gaming) or hobbies and it is very difficult to get him to do activities with the family. Also, he is struggling in school. We have tried to get him involved in sports, hobbies, we’ve forced him to go on a nature expedition camp (which was supposed to help with personal development), his dad has taken him on international vacations, I’ve gotten him involved in doing work in the film industry — everything to try to round out his interests and how he spends his time, but nothing has worked.

Lately, he is wanting to spend more time at his father’s house because 1. his father has a faster internet connection, 2. his father doesn’t cut off his internet at night (at my place his internet cuts off at 11 PM) , 3. we live in a small home and he is not allowed to scream loudly in his room while gaming (at his father’s his room is in the basement and his noise doesn’t bother others), and 4. the gaming creates conflict with my husband and there are big blow-ups about that from time to time. Because he is 16, my son basically has the right to choose his custody situation in the eyes of the law.

Help with my models would be most appreciated.

UM:
C my son
T I am losing my son.
F sad
A indulge in confusion, ruminate over situation, buffer, cry, call father and talk about situation, talk about situation to my husband
R ??

IM:
C my son
T I can find a way to love my son no matter what ??
F love
A support my son (school work, personal development –but how?), find a way to connect with son
R ??