I’m not okay when she’s not okay

How do I manage my own mind, so I don’t feel responsible for other people’s circumstances? I’ve noticed that I do this a lot in my relationships and the downside of that is, that I don’t take care of myself and it leaves me physically exhausted and emotionally drained. How do I be there for family etc. without taking on the responsibility of fixing their problems?

Below are two unintentional models. I’m looking for feedback on both and thoughts on an intentional.

C: My mom keeps having panic attacks as her health is declining

T: I’m not okay unless she’s okay

F: nervous energy, anxious and stressed

A: I buffer eating cooke dogs, eat when not hungry, I check out through FB and the news, I don’t manage my mind

R: I don’t get done the tasks I plan for the day, I don’t follow my eating protocol, I don’t manage my mind, my primitive brain takes over as I think of ways I can help “fix” her situation with her health


T: Whenever my mom has a circumstance I rush in to help her and completely ignore my own self care/needs

F: Disappointed in myself, hurt

A: Emotionally shut down, get into negative spiral, don’t run models, don’t tap, don’t do thought download. Stay stuck/depressed, I tell myself to suck it up. I should be able to handle this. I beat myself up

R: Stay stuck/depressed. The part of me that needs support just stops asking