I divorced my husband in August. He is still living here on my property in an “economy” apartment. I did agree to this. The end of our marriage is very hard for him, and I try to remind myself of this often. He uses the shower, the tub, and the toilet in my house (I agreed to this as well), so we have daily interactions.
Because he’s trying to both understand and change this circumstance that I’ve created, he’ll often talk and talk about what he believes I think about him and what he believes I’m doing to him, and how HE HAS FEELINGS, TOO. Gag me. He is a very emotional, expressive, intense person, and very in touch with his feelings. He’s the only one who has ever talked about “having feelings,” and I don’t discount any of his feelings.
Maybe I’m not in touch with my feelings–except irritation, agitation, frustration, love, joy. I don’t get the “I-can’t-live-without-you” feelings. If I ever felt that in my life, it was so long ago that I don’t remember. And so I can’t relate to him. I hate that he’s hurting, and at the same time, I want to slap him and tell him to grow up. Maybe I’m not really growing up.
When I listened to a class replay recently, the coach indicated at the intro that it was going to be about feelings. My immediate response was “Ew.” I thought it was going to be about something else. My reaction kind of surprised me. Not because I wasn’t really interested, but because of the actual disgust. I didn’t realize I felt that strongly about feelings. Ha! How ironic.
Anyway, I’ve spewed long enough. Maybe this is what I came to be human to learn about. I sure don’t like it, but I may as well get your thoughts on the matter. And I do greatly appreciate your time. Thank you.