I’m so tired of this

Circumstances I am tired of: depression, bulimia, being a badass who is too cold inside to allow a man to love her, failing at business, indulging in self-pity.
Thoughts I’m tired of : I’m tired of depression, bulimia, being single, failing, indulging in self-pity, this is too hard for me, I’m never going to make it, tomorrow is a new day to try again but I’ll fail again. Why is this so hard? It shouldn’t be this hard, I am deepening problems every day.

I listened to Brooke’s podcast on depression and can’t help but wonder if i am pushing myself too hard. I want to get my coaching biz off the ground so hard but I’m stuck in passive action, shame and buffering, which fuels the depression. Sometimes I feel I’m learning. Sometimes I just think it is all too hard. Sometimes I’m ok with it being too hard. What is wrong with me? I feel very alone, and like this journey I am on is for sure going to help people when I get to the other side. I just don’t know if I ever will.