This morning, I was in the kitchen cooking for lunch and dinner, because I would be working from 1 until 5 this afternoon. I have a 6 year old and almost 3 year old. There is time pressure as I would need to get my 6 year old to school. (Yes I could cook after school drop off, but anyway, today, I chose to cook in the morning. Monday hour one would be good to do next. I’m just doing managing mind for now) My kids were initially playing together in the bedroom. Then I used the food processor and the 3 year old came to the kitchen, climbed up a small chair and stood next to me. I put the lid of the food processor (used for raw chicken) on the bench and told my son “don’t touch this”. Then I was turning and putting the minced chicken in the pot and he touched the food processor lid with raw chicken on it.

C- I said “don’t touch”. Son touched the food processor with raw chicken
T- he is disobeying me
F- disrespected
A- “I said don’t touch” with harsh tone and big angry eyes. “Do you understand?”
R- I am not respecting my son

C- I said “don’t touch”. Son touched the food processor with raw chicken.
T- he is harming himself
F- worry
A- controlling – “I said don’t touch”. Shutting myself from him. Spinning the thought loop he will get diarrhoea from campylobacter
R – I am not being kind to myself or son – I am harming us.

C- I said “don’t touch”. Son touched the food processor with raw chicken
T- he is making us late more
F- frazzled
A- Talking to son very quickly. I was rushing daughter to get to school. Quick quick quick. Later, I was changing son’s nappy and being very rushed and unkind. I was rushing to dry daughter’s hair and could not work out the hair dryer
R- I was rushing but not in the zone so I am not efficient and making us late

We got to school fine, then now I am processing this.

Initially I used the question – What am I really wanting? The answer was for my son to be safe. For my life to be easy. – This still didn’t really work for me. Wanting son to be safe would still bring worry. Wanting my life to be easy brings out resistance to the reality. Then I changed the question.
How do I want to show up? I want to show up as a calm, kind mum.

C- I said “don’t touch”. Son touched the food processor with raw chicken
T- This is meant to happen
F- Calm
A- Calmly redirected son – “we should not touch this please”. “Come let’s wash your hands”. I would not be bringing the unfinished thoughts into being rough changing nappy. I would give him a fun breakfast to eat
R- I am creating calm