I’m still all over the place


Hi Brooke,
I’m still all over the place with my thoughts when it comes to my drinking plan. I didn’t drink tonight and I didn’t experience urges. I was experiencing more urges over food which I am trying to track. So to my surprise since I began scholars is that it is not very difficult for me not to drink during the week if that is my plan. I drink like a bottle a night or sometimes more on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But you have mentioned to me to plan for drinking during the week to have more experience with urges. Why would I drink during the week if I feel I don’t have to. My goal starting this program was to basically start by controlling my drinking to that of a “normal person”. Normal in my mind right now would be just to get to the point that I only drank on weekends and the occasional dinner out during the week. I don’t know what to do. I too am always an A student and feel like if I don’t do it perfectly then I’m just doing it wrong. Should I just experiment with drinking some during the week (2 glasses) even if I don’t find I would have to. Like I said, if my plan is not to drink during the week it may seem easier than drinking to just resist an urge but my goal was mostly to just not drink during the week as I was drinking 7 nights a week. I know I keep posting this basic problem (argument) each week but I get torn as to what to do. Part of me says, “Just do what Brooke says” by creating drink plans during the week but less in quantity and more on the weekends and the other part of me says, “Why am I going to drink during the week if I seem to be able to not have to drink without too much effort. Sometimes when I don’t drink during the week I experience urges and I don’t know if it’s resisting or allowing. I can tell you this. It feel way, way, less resisting than it used to feel when everyday I would say I’m not going to drink and I would resist, resist, resist, then drink. I know you said not to put drama into this. I don’t think its drama its just do I do it by the book or go with my gut?
Whew!
R