Impact vs. Intention

Something that I have been exploring during the current events in our world is impact vs. intention.

For example, I understand from the model that if I say words with the intention to share and the impact to the other person is that they are hurt they are creating their hurt because of what they are thinking. . However, I heard Brooke say something this week about intention not mattering and that we need to be responsible for the impact of our words (if I understood her correctly). This seems to contradict each other. Certainly if I said something and the person felt hurt, I might apologize and clarify my intention, but am I responsible for the impact? Doesn’t that person create that with their own brain? Thanks for helping me sort through this!