Impossible goal choice


Hi coaches!
I’m new to Scholars and trying to decide on my impossible goal for the year. I am a research scientist and I don’t think I am growing as much in my career as I want to. So I thought a good impossible goal might be to publish 10 papers in a year (including 5 first author papers). We are assessed on how many papers we publish. I published one first author paper last year and have two that are in the early stages of submission to journals (the way this works is that you write a manuscript, submit it, and it can be rejected without review or sent out for review. Usually papers go through several rounds of submission, revision and rejection and the result is a better paper. Ten papers feels impossible for me right now, and I think it would make me a better scientist in a bunch of ways and get me to confront/move through some engrained thoughts about perfectionism, so I like it as a choice.

However, I also want to write a novel, and for years I have been putting my creative writing second to work (scheduling time to write in the evenings after work, not doing it, indulging in thoughts about how work needs to come first or about how I am overworked and/or too tired to write), partly because I think I should think creative writing is less important than the job I am paid to do, but also because I am afraid of failing as a writer. This is a pattern I am keen to break, because I believe my novel is worth writing.

I know I can make either choice and be happy with it, but am I right in thinking that either impossible goal will turn me into someone who can do both of these things (not necessarily at the same time), because the aim here is to get really intentional at figuring out the thoughts that I’m hiding behind to keep myself in a place where I feel safe, and the same process is operating to hold me back from achieving both goals?

Cheers!