impossible goal – finish the work

My impossible goal for 2018 is completing All the unfinished projects in my house including October’s homework within every drawer, corner, closet, shelf, and tote crammed into the attic, basement and garage. I live in an old house that was (still is) a restoration project when it was purchased. My husband and I were going to make this our dream home for us and our young family. But it didn’t work out as planned. Our daughter was diagnosed with cancer as we were buying the house. Years of fighting for her life, death and grief, being emotionally and mentally lost for years and a divorce were not part of that dream. Essential house projects got “done” ad hoc, things never really found their place and the past got stuffed into boxes. I’ve been working on this (slowly) physically and emotionally for a couple of years. I joined scholars in October and panicked the moment I learned the subject of the month’s work. I really struggled with the homework and only partially completed projects. I just replayed the intro to October and it terrified me (again) to tears. I figured that was a good sign of being impossible besides the fact that is. I’ve been living in the past and at the effect of what I thought my life was supposed to be for too long. There are so many projects left undone and so much stuff. I feel like they are obstacles to finally going for back-burner dreams and opening my life to new dreams. I want this out of my way…I have other impossible things to do.