Impossible goal (Nadège)

Dear coach,
I think it’s time for me to put my self-care first as an impossible goal. It would mean having massages, feeling my feelings, getting elegant clothes, having a tidy house…
I’ve never done it before. It’s always “well, if I have the time, then, maybe…” And then I don’t because there’s no time left or I don’t think I’m worthy of it anyway.
However, how do I measure it? I see what I could do every day (I write down how I feel twice a day, I hire a cleaning person, I have a massage once a month…) but I don’t know what I could show to a court of law by December 2019.
Any ideas? Thanks!