Hello. I am having a really difficult time with cognitive dissonance.

When I wake up in the morning, I’m ready to take on the day and have great intentions. Come afternoon, I have this intense feeling of needing to “take the edge off”.

Most days this results in drinking. I feel like I am in control in the moment, I rationalize the decision. I have been trying to plan for how I will think when this arrises, I tell myself that I will allow the urge. I will feel the feelings, do a model. But when the time actually comes, I find myself thinking “oh well I want this now and will have it even though I don’t like how I feel after”. And the cycle continues. What can I do specifically when the impulse is so strong that I don’t listen to my pre planned ideas of what I’ll think?