In a serious funk


I am in a serious funk right now. I hate everyone and everything. I am having a hard time being positive, which is weird because I feel like I was improving, doing great and feeling better about a lot of stuff in my life – myself, spouse, kids, work, etc. I could sincerely respond to people when they asked how I was doing with an “I’m amazingly awesome”! Now I feel like when they ask and I respond with “great” I cringe inside because that feels like a lie and I’m sure they don’t want my honest answer, which right now would be “pretty shitty, thanks for asking”. Maybe I’m just hormonal and getting ready for menopause…? (I’m 46). I’m just tired of all the bullshit and feel like I don’t have the energy and momentum that I had earlier in the year when I started SCS, which I still love! And, Brooke, you’re one person that I still love because you are amazing and always know what to say. I get pissed and disappointed in myself when I don’t follow my morning plan, which is to meditate, do 20 minutes of SCS work and workout. How hard can that be??! Apparently hard because I’m not following through and it f’s up my whole day. Peace and serenity now-dammit!! The person I’m being now is not who I am and know myself to be. Hopefully it’s just a phase and I don’t end up leaving my husband, my kids and dogs while in this ugly phase.