In The Middle

Hello- when our family goes out for dinner (my husband and I and our 4 adult children), one of our sons who is quite extroverted can become irritating to my husband – to me as well but I always feel that I need to be the peacemaker, trying to “tone down” our son while as the same time, keeping my husband engaged as he can just withdraw. It is uncomfortable to say the least. I do know that me taking that role is optional but I don’t seem to be able to come up with an alternative – just be silent, start a different conversation with another of the family, wait for the discomfort to end? I guess what I’m finding is that it is easy to intellectually know I’m not responsible for anyone else’s feelings, but in some situations (such as restaurants) it is very hard to emotionally get there given the close proximity. Any thoughts?