Incapable of Love

Hi Brooke,
After I joined your Scholars and consumed a lot of info that you provide for us I was exited I can apply it to myself and see how it works .
I did change thoughts I was working on but the result was and still is the same. Instead of clarity I built up more question in my head:
– I absolutely agreed (theoretically) with the idea I can change my feelings by changing my thoughts. Practically it is not that effective, but at least it forces me to be present and watch/listen to my brain.
What I am working on is Love. I do not feel Love towards myself and others. I am friendly , nice, polite, very respectful, and patience to everyone but I’ve never felt I love myself or others. I am 28 and I can not build relationship because I can not give Love. I was thinking if I would change my thoughts around this subject I would build a new emotion inside me. Did not happen yet! 🙁 I am capable to like , care, respect but not Love. I understand I have to fake it till I will make it. I have to develop new neural paths in my brain. I totally get it. Furthermore, as long I am working on it, I believe it will happen and the second I switch the topic of my model , everything I worked on ( around Love) disappeared. Every morning I have to start over and over.
My model :
C: incapable of Love
T: I do not trust people,any of them, that’s why I can not Love; that’s why I am alone. I can hurt others
F: sad
A: being nice to people around me with an agenda to find someone (friend, boyfriend, coworker, myself) to whom I can say I love you!
R: absent of Trust=absent of Love. I am alone. hurting close to me people.

C: incapable of Love
T: I can love. I do love based on my actions. I have to admit it to myself.
F: free
A: telling people who are important to me I love them. Trying to build trust around others.
R: Feel Love, build Trust, I am not alone.

Any thoughts? What should I change?
Thank you Brooke!!!!