Indecision and perfectionism


Dear Brooke and Coaches,
Thank you for the insight you provided last month when I asked about needing external pressure to get things done. And thank you to Lisa for our tutoring call. What I’ve come to realize is that the resistance I feel to getting things done is because of the discomfort that comes from making decisions. When I have some type of external pressure it forces me to decide, commit and take action. I think this is because the discomfort of external pressure becomes greater than the discomfort of deciding. So now I’m taking a hard look at all the undecideds in my life and what I’m realizing is that I view things on a scale of bad, good, better, best, perfect. I can distinguish between good vs. bad. But I also see that good can be improved a lot to better, best, or maybe even perfect. So I don’t think this is an issue of fear of failure or making a mistake, but more like every decision can be improved and I have trouble drawing a line at good enough. Something as simple as hanging picture frames has been on my to do list for months because I can’t decide what to put in some of the frames and where to hang them (as well as how to hang them, etc). It’s interesting that a comment Lisa made – that I get to decide where is the perfect place to hang these frames – really rankled me (which means it must have touched a nerve :). It’s like I don’t want to make that decision. I keep thinking that there must be a magical perfect solution out there somewhere and I’m waiting for that to appear. I would even prefer some expert to decide (a designer, a guidebook, a set of rules) rather than to trust myself to make the decision. I’ve heard/read in several places about allowing yourself to do B- work but that is so foreign to my ingrained A+++ thinking that I’m not sure how to even start doing that. Any advice on next steps with this insight would be greatly appreciated.