Indulgent vrs. Allowing Negative feelings

I am noticing that I think that all of my negative emotions are indulgent as I’m doing the homework from this month. For instance, yesterday I did two unintentional models. The feelings were upset and defensive. I see the need to allow upset to allow it for myself to be human but I’m still very resistant to the idea that people would see me out in the world upset-somewhere the along the line I decided that wasn’t okay. And I automatically find evidence for why this feeling is indulgent. And defensive that seems indulgent to me because I don’t see any good coming from me being defensive. Can you help me see how to distinguish between unwanted but need to allow and indulgent feelings?