I am doing a 30 day assignment in believing new things. There is one particular thought that keeps appearing every day- “It’s never going to happen.”

When I do the model on that thought it looks like:
C: New belief
T: It’s never going to happen
F: Indulging in negativity
A: I’m doing massive action despite a negative thought but I expect a negative result
R: Nothing’s happening

It even feels that part of me is glad when the result is negative as my initial thought is proven to be right.
I was surprised when I uncovered this dissonance between a negative thought and indulging feeling.
Please advise how do I pause this model? How do I do an intentional model on believing new thoughts?
Thanks