Hi, Brooke! Right now I’m struggling mightily to wrap my head around the idea that all circumstances are neutral. I understand that in theory, but everything I’m doing–trying to manage my mind, working to manage my emotions and create new ones–is for the goal of changing my circumstances. I am seeking to transition out of the relationship I’m in, for many reasons, and while I’m skeptical that I’ll be happier without him, I know that part of me believes I will, or rather I believe that there will still be unhappiness at being alone (which I am responsible for feeling), but that I am also freeing space for new things in my life, especially the relationship I want to create (which is the new belief I’m tackling this month).

But why bother, if none of it matters? Why change ANY circumstances–lose weight, earn 100 million dollars, write a book, end a relationship, whatever–if we can be happy without all that? What’s the point?

I know there’s an answer, but why change any circumstances if circumstances are always neutral?

I seem to be looping in confusion about this, and would love to hear your answer.