Both my parents recently passed away and left a small inheritance that was divided amongst the grandchildren, my sibling and I.
Ten years prior to their death my relationship with my parents became strained when I left my husband for a woman. They never accepted my new partner. I came to terms with that and kept them in my life for the benefit of my children.
The money has brought many negative feelings to the surface. I waited for it for over a year and had many ideas for how to spend it, but now I don’t even want to touch it. My parents put stipulations in the Will that made it difficult for me to use it freely. Basically the money is in a Trust and if I die, that money will go to my kids, not my partner. Again, I make that mean so much more than it needs to.
I have tried to do some self coaching and I am always left with negative feelings (anger, scarcity, sadness, grief). The thoughts that come to mind are ‘My parents are still trying to control me’; ‘ Money is evil’; ‘ Why can’t they just left me grieve without the drama?’
I just don’t know how to move on. I can’t seem to find intentional models.
I appreciate your help,