Brooke, I really could use some insight. I signed up yesterday and can’t wait to get started. This issue is very very engrained in my thoughts and I really want to rid of it.

I consider myself to be an intelligent person, and before your podcast, I came to a lot of the same ideas that you did as mentioned in your model. But for some reason, I cannot get over my petty insecurity.

(Not arrogantly speaking by any means) I know I am a beautiful, strong, successful, passionate, smart, and loving woman who is confident in who she is 100%; However, I cannot understand why it bothers me so much that my boyfriend has a wandering eye.

I’ve told him that it doesn’t bother me that he does it (Men are visual creatures, etc.), but I told him I would appreciate it if he wouldn’t do it in front of me as I see it as disrespectful. I understand people will do what they want to do, but why can’t I let this go?

Although I am ashamed to admit, I also get insecure whenever he’s on Facebook, since he spends every chance he can “scrolling”. I get insecure when I see he’s liked single female’s photos, but he says I have nothing to worry about. (This behavior I know is rooted in fear that he will once again reach out to his exes via Facebook like he did in the past after him “dumping me” during his drunken episodes, but saying he didn’t mean it once he is sober.)

I know I’m making his behavior “mean” things and I know that I’m feeling insecure because I’m choosing to, but can you please offer some kind of guidance for me to start to get out of this insecure thought loop that I’ve been in for years? I’m tired of feeling this way and I am aware that my thoughts are preventing me from being at peace. This insecurity is so annoying.

I really appreciate your time and I appreciate your candor.