Intentional Story

I wrote my unintentional story last week. It was easy as I am very practiced in it.
I am struggling to write my intentional story about my childhood and relationship with my family. How do I write about my mother in my intentional story so it feels believable but also doesn’t put me in a victim mode the way my unintentional story does.

Section from the unintentional story:
I was too much for my mom and she couldn’t handle the differences in our personality. We have fought our whole lives as we don’t agree on much. She tried to mold me into someone she thought I should be and would constantly be frustrated when I didn’t act the way she thought I should. I became independent in order to get away from her. I wasn’t seen or heard as a child and my emotional needs were not met. I was taught to people please, and make decisions from fear. I hated school but my mom didn’t have the skills to help me make friends easier. Instead, she believed my victim stories and perpetuated it. I felt very alone and angry my whole childhood.

Section from the intentional story:
I learned how to be very independent and courageous at a young age. I had my own opinions and a defined personality but it took me some years for that whole personality to shine through.

I am not sure how to re-write this when it all feels like facts. How do I hold space in my story for her but also not put myself in the victim mindset?