Internal Drive to Make a Contribution

Hi Brooke,
The money call was really good yesterday. You teach this info in such an understandable way. Thank you!
My question – Through out my life I have had this inner drive to turn things into businesses, I find something I love and then I want to share it with others. I am an artist and have started about 6 art businesses – stained glass, handmade lampshades, lampwork glass beads, jewelry and even opened two art studios and taught classes. I’ve had eBay and Easy businesses. I’m an organizer and have planned many events for organizations too. So I took a organization program to become a professional organizer! In 2007 I started blogging and have had several blogs. I taught creativity workshops. I designed a newsletter call “The Joy Path”, I designed workshops and taught them. I took Life Coach training and became a life coach, I worked with individuals, groups and taught classes. I lost over 170 pounds and created a program called “Body Belief” based on the principals of thoughts create reality and helping people re-connect with their natural body and release the diet mentality. I did great, I developed a book and workbook, taught several workshops. I loved doing it and was on the edge of being successful, and then I started gaining weight, so I decided to go back to school to be an Interior Designer. After two years in collage I knew I made a mistake and quit. In 2013 I took a trip to New Mexico to a retreat and had a spiritual awakening. It was so powerful that I came home and wrote a book about it. I even entered the book in a writing competition and had the opportunity to pitch it to agents and publishers. Three of them asked me email them the first three chapters and gave me their business cards. I still have the business cards, but never followed through. My book is still sitting there, just the prologue to complete.

Last year I decided to stop everything. I felt like I was on a merry-go-round of starting and stopping, then coming up with new ideas, getting the adrenaline following, then I begin to lose interest and start something else. I knew I had to stop. My daughter convinced me that I should just enjoy retirement. I’m 61. I live in a resort community, we have plenty of money to enjoy life. But, what you said yesterday about some people being satisfied with a “comfortable life” and others have something burning inside them and want to make a contrition. Well, that is me. The idea of creating something and making a bigger contrition to the world is in me and it won’t shut up!

Here’s the bottom line. I am seriously gifted in many areas. I have skills. I know that I could be great at what ever I decide to pursue. It’s just that I can’t pick. I’m so gun shy, after so many starts and stops and twists and turns that I have no idea where to focus my energy. It feels like I have lost faith in myself to choose responsibly. I am all afraid that if I chose and get bored, which is my pattern, than I’ll just have another failure. This is NOT about making money – it is totally about making a contribution – expressing the gifts that are inside me. It is a drive that is not going away. I need to identify it and maybe narrow it down. I am totally stuck! Any suggestions.