I have trouble with off-putting pictorial thoughts; specifically “internal” videos about the past will run in my head and create emotions of different kinds.
C: I daydream/mind wander/playback how my ex in a dress dances in the kitchen with a proud smile
T: I did not appreciate her
A: I sabotage myself to explore a possible relationship from fear of hurting the other person
R: I appear arrogant or aloof
T: I will not find someone like her again
A: I want to move on the countryside, get a dog and forget about human relationships
R: I isolate
T: She is dancing in the kitchen and I label it as the “past”
A: I move on with my current task
R: I move on with my life
T: She was so happy/she felt sexy and it is a pleasant memory
F: Appreciation, joy, thought intoxication
A: I appreciate the memory
R: I’m happy that she experienced that feeling
I have trouble with these “video” thoughts because the are playback from a previous moments of the present and I don’t see how they have any purpose for me.
I have trouble with the thought that these playbacks will continue and pop up whenever they desire, especially when my body is weak or my mind is stressed.
I picked a pleasant memory for the example. I have memories that are not pleasant going towards traumatic. Yes, I can label these memories as moments of teaching, but they occur really when I am weak and cannot take care of my mental health.