Interpretations


“Here are many possible interpretations of his behavior (including that he’s simply busy or stressed), and if you like your reasons for interpreting them in the way that you are, let’s own that.”

This was a response in ASK A COACH question.
My question is how do I know what I am thinking is true?

For example, circumstance is: I haven’t talked to my boyfriend like we used to before in this 1 month.
More factual: 3-4 hours of conversation in whole 1 month.
He said, “I might lose my job.”  He also said, “I’m sad”.  He also said, “I’m not sad anymore”
He left my messages on read 3 times this month and did not respond.
He didn’t open my messages x times.
There are many more circumstances and all of them trigger my thoughts.

My thoughts are:
– He doesn’t want to talk to me.
– He sometimes ignores my messages.
– He doesn’t care about our relationship.
– He doesn’t love me.
– I can’t believe he would do this.
– I don’t know what to do anymore
– he might leave me.
– I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him.
– He is so unpredictable.
– I didn’t imagine it would turn out like this.
– He was so loving and caring back then.
– He really doesn’t care about our relationship.

Other thoughts that I have:
he must be busy.
Idk what is going on for him.
he must be going through something.
he must be having a hard time since he said “he might lose his job.”
He will talk to me like usual.
Everything will be fine.
It’s okay.
It’s not about me.
He will surely make time to talk to me.
Hope he’s doing good.

Both negative and positive thoughts feel true to me and I just go back and forth from feeling heartbroken, angry, upset to sometimes compassionate and curious and hopeful and understanding and love.

My question is what if I think he’s busy and must be doing something instead of he doesn’t care about our relationship. But in reality he doesn’t really want to talk to me?

I mean I could interpret his actions in anyway I want to but I don’t want to believe in something that might be not true and be with someone who doesn’t love or value our relationship.