Interrupting model – Breaking the pattern of self defeating thoughts to new ones

Hi Brooke,

I’m challenged with having appropriate thoughts about an incident, but yet I still feel sad. For instance, my husband abuses substances and verbally abuses me. He takes out his bad days on me. I could say nothing and he goes off on me calling me names. For DAYS later, I keep saying “it’s all him,” “it’s his stuff” “he had a bad day, I didn’t do anything, etc,” but then why do I still feel so sad?

If I understand what he is doing and not blame myself for his bad attitude -There must be another thought – but what is it? I tried the model and couldn’t come up with another. Do thoughts hide in our subconscious? So, I’m a little confused about the “interrupting model” if you would please further explain that.

Anyhow, Suzy (she’s great) helped me with this. She had me close my eyes and sit with the sad feelings (up came my tears) and listen to the thoughts. Up came new thoughts:
1.) I want something very different for my life, and
2.) I don’t deserve to be treated this way.
So in the future, the lesson here is (as Suzy instructed) to close my eyes and sit with my emotions and listen to what is coming up for me. That works! However, what I’m struggling with is how do I change thoughts to be more empowering thoughts? How do I break the pattern of self defeating thinking? It’s a skill I’m lacking and want to learn…Because when I put my thoughts in the model I come up with:
1.) I want something very different, but the fact of the matter is that I am not in financial position to make a change (Ugh, another thought that disempowers me) and 2.) Sure, no one deserves to be treated this way, but I can’t control another person – he gets to be who he is… so then what.

Any ideas please?

Thank you so much,