Hello! I received an interview for a position I applied for and my brain is having all kinds of thoughts about it. For the interview, I need to create an 8-10min presentation on expanding 4-H and the results of the programming. I’ve been spinning in – I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to create programming for something like that. This is too hard. I don’t really want the job that much anyway. I’m not that intelligent enough. I’ve never created something that someone would want to pay me for. I really don’t know if I even want to go through with this.

In the past day or so, I’ve really asked myself why I want this job and why it’s important. A part of me feels like I need to do this presentation and go through with the interview just not to give up on myself and just push through it or otherwise I’ll be disappointed in myself if I don’t. I’ve also tied my intelligence in with it as well – If I don’t do this interview then I’m not very intelligent. Or I’m giving up too easily.

A part of me does want to do it to say I did it, but that doesn’t seem like enough. Am I just trying to talk myself out of it? Also, I do want a higher paying job to meet some of my goals this year. Again is that a reason to do it? I don’t want to give up on myself when something hard comes my way, but I also don’t want to stress myself out either like I have been about it. I do want to create programming and just create, but maybe it doesn’t have to be in this way? A part of me is also saying that this interview doesn’t matter that much and to just have fun with it.