I have been with my husband for almost 7 years (married for just over 1), and for at least the last 5 years, we have had very little intimacy (ie. sex) in our relationship. When I initiate sex, I can feel my husband become tense and distracted, and most times he turns my offer down. I have been feeling increasingly resentful, because my current belief is that he is the only one I can have this type of intimacy with, and I’m not willing to step outside my marriage to seek sexual gratification, but I also cannot force him to be intimate. We have had so many talks about this, his response is always that he is overweight and does not feel comfortable, and also that the topic of sex has a lot of strong emotions around it right now for us so he shuts down. He recently told me that he thinks about how I’ve been feeling on a daily basis and feels ashamed and guilty for not being able to give me what I ask for, yet he has not yet been more willing to engage in intimacy with me. I am so worried that one day, I will no longer want to fix this issue in our marriage and will decide to leave (but I also know that this is attempting to change my circumstances to change my emotions, which is never effective). I am having such a hard time with the idea of accepting that our sex life is almost non-existent; it doesn’t seem congruent to my values in a relationship, so I find myself feeling really stuck when I try to do a model with ‘accepting’ as the feeling. I just did a one-on-one coaching and the thought “If I accept the way things are, they won’t ever change” came up as one of the thoughts that is keeping me stuck in anxiety and anger. I guess I am just looking for some guidance on how to work through this anger and move to acceptance, and perhaps curiosity and compassion, and not constantly be reaching back for the thoughts that make me feel angry and resentful.