Irritability and Reactivity as a Buffer?


Hello! I have been following my stardust protocol and allowing all urges to overeat without obeying them for 14 days now! The urge jar has been working very well and I have been allowing all kinds of feeling and emotions and observing my thoughts. This weekend I had a particularly tough time with anxiety and very unpleasant emotions that lasted about 3 hours. I tried some thought models ,but the feeling remained. I did not eat or do anything to buffer, BUT at the end of the day as I was still feeling very uncomfortable I ended up snapping at my husband and kids. In the past this “bitch mode” has come out anytime I am not buffering emotions with food. In the past, this would be a perfect excuse to go back to overeating because I decide its better to overeat than be cranky and irritable at my family. However, I know that there has to be a way to not buffer with food AND not be a bitch. In retrospect, I realized that this reactivity while I am experiencing unpleasant emotions is almost like a release that allows the strong emotion to dissipate. And I think it was a habit in the past (no longer a habit, but I think I was REALLY using food instead). Besides doing thought models and allowing the feeling and emotion to be there, what other approach would you recommend for this tendency to get cranky and grumpy when I feel bad inside? If I have been feeling this for several hours, is it ok to go do something about it like exercise, meditation, etc. or do I keep practicing being with the feeling? I want to learn how to allow and tolerate all these emotions, but after a while it becomes a very irritating and distracting feeling. I don’t want to become a “skinny bitch” that doesn’t eat to buffer but is just mean! Please help!