Yesterday, my father, husband, two kids and I went to an exhibition on Super-Heroes. They stayed together, while I really enjoyed it and spent the whole time reading the posters, listening to the audioguide, watching the video clips… so much so that when I left the building, my whole family was relieved to see me. They had been waiting for me for more than an hour and had been worried sick that something terrible had had happened to me.
As a consequence, I was “torn” between the reaction I would have had before (Oh, I’m so sorry I’ve caused them so much worry, I should have been more careful and thoughtful!) and my new reaction (They have told themselves a terrible story while I was only doing what one’s supposed to do in a museum). I didn’t feel like apologising at all and yet I was full of compassion for their worry and grateful for their love. So here are my models.
C – museum
T – I’m so sorry I’ve caused them so much pain!
F – guilt, shame
A – I apologise, promise not to do it ever again (?! I can’t believe that!)
R – my family’s reassured (but I’m not happy)
C – museum
T – they chose to believe something had gone wrong when I simply enjoyed the visit
F – detached, compassionate
A – I pay attention to their worry and their relief but still feel I had a good time and have done nothing wrong
R – everybody’s happy
Am I doing it right by not mingling everyone’s feelings with my own or am I being a selfish brat (as in a cinema, I had turned off my phone not to disturb anyone in the museum so they couldn’t contact me and I lost track of time)?
Thank you so much!
Nan (work in progress)