Is Something Wrong With Me?

Since I started in March, I’ve been working on doing the model in my mind. When something happens and a negative emotion begins to appear, I see the reality that a thought has crept in to create it – feel it – and then visualize the thought that’s creating it and basically let it go. Sometimes I’ll replace it with a new thought, but I’ve found just seeing the thought that’s there and realizing it’s not “fact” – just something my brain came up with them – is enough to release the emotion. From repeating this over and over again, I’m finding that I’m now pretty calm about everything/life in general.

However, I’ve had some pretty serious things happen recently … a $6,000 chargeback from a client and my host, GoDaddy, did something wonky with our dedicated site server – and every single one of my company’s websites are down. And I’ve been told by GoDaddy that they could be lost for good and impossible to get back. And my emotions around this have been “meh”. Well, not “meh” like I don’t care – but I haven’t really had a negative emotional response. My thought has been – in both cases – “So that’s what we have. Now what can we do about it to fix this?” With the $6K chargeback, I immediately jumped into action and, after a week, won the chargeback. However, with GoDaddy, it still appears likely that my websites, sales pages, back offices, etc. may be gone with the wind. And my thought is… “I need to find a new host, figure out back-up situation so this never happens again, and get with GoDaddy to see if there are any last ditch things we can do to fix this”. It’s all solution-based thoughts – not my normal terror “I’m going to kill someone for this” type of thinking. And this isn’t a minor thing. In the past, I’ve gone close to crazy when a MINOR thing happens – and this is pretty major in terms of recreating and repaying for replacement of sites, pages, etc. But I can’t seem to get my heart to even flutter about this.

Either the model is working way too well or someone is slipping me a light sedative. Is this kind of calm normal?