I have a desire to move in with my partner. This is 75% solid. I think I’ll marry him someday and I love so much about him.
And I have hesitancy. I think it’s most likely, around my ability to uphold the boundary of having sufficient alone time/time with other friends and social connections and speaking up for what I need.
Basically- saying no when I think there is an unspoken expectation. Very rarely is this anything he puts on me, rather my interpretation of what I think I should do.
Things like… I really only want to co-sleep 3x a week and want to sleep in my own bed 4x a week.
If I don’t want to hang out with him, I should anyways, because it’s convenient.
If I feel out of balance socially, it means something is wrong with me, because he is satisfied with his interaction w/ me and roommate. So if I need more people it means something is wrong.
The big problem here is that I’m afraid I will get bored with him and turn it into a big existential crisis about if we are “meant to be” or whatever… but the reality is, I know I am a person that just needs social variety.
Please help! How can I test whether this hesitancy is because of my ability to uphold boundaries or something else?