Is there another example besides making 100K?

This is my 3rd month in Scholars. I am still struggling with my ability to change my thinking. I’ve done my homework everyday. I know this is a process and will not happen over night. My awareness has revealed that drinking is at the center of my problems. I want to be accepted my friends and so I think I have to be “Fun” to be accepted. Because when I am not drinking, I am very serious and driven at my job. When I drink, I over eat and then I beat myself up the next day. I am an avid runner, so I can maintain my weight but I know I could be better at running and that I could be 122. Currently, I weigh 128.

I have realized that I don’t think I can change my belief about anything else until I change this drinking pattern. So, I know Brooke does the making 100 as her example new belief, but can it just be something as simple as I am fun without buffering? And how would that look to bridge? I just don’t know what to do after I have that belief.

I did the compelling reason back in January, and I have obviously not stuck to that. My compelling reason was I do not want to let myself down and I don’t want to break a promise to myself. My commitment was I wanted to weigh 122. This is what I wrote on pg. 9 of the Compelling Reason Podcast book…

I need to commit to the weight of 122. Why is that important to me? It is important because then I will know I have conquered my over drinking. Over drinking is the catalyst to my over eating. Once I start over drinking I start making bad food choices. I start over drinking to numb my feelings of social anxiety or my fear that my kids (or my family) are getting left behind or I am getting left out. I drink because I have FOMO (fear of missing out). I over drink because I am not fun. I want to be an example to my children that we can do this life without buffering.

I keep failing at this… I am the scholar that has done all my homework, but now I am just using is at a buffering tool to absorb information but not act on it. This is where I normally quit. But I don’t want to, I want to change. I just feel stuck. What if all my friends leave me because I stop drinking?

Thank you for any help you can give me!