C: brought my 7-year-old daughter to a child mediator. Upon leaving my daughter told me what they talked about was “a secret” from her mom and dad.
T: it is not appropriate for her to tell our child to have secrets from us, that could be bad for her, and her relationship with her parents.
A: Check Google reviews and see she has 22 of 24 low scoring reviews with mostly very negative comments, think that I need to see if we can get a new child mediator, wonder if I should write my lawyer, also that I can’t control this and just let go of it. Consider that I could ask my husband to just stop this process
R: I don’t know outcome if I actually contact my lawyer, but if she’s not negative about it, I will at least know the options – Actually I will know the options even if she is negative, I’m just worried she will judge me and that will have negative results for me in the outcome of the divorce. Consider telling my husband.
If I don’t contact my lawyer, then worry it won’t be very useful.
I am telling myself that this person has a lot of power and influence over my children’s and my life going forward. I believe that is true. I suppose it could be true, but not helpful.
So my next model is:
C: Child mediator has many 1/5 reviews, including very specific “unprofessional” and “lying” reviews
T: This is bad
A: Brainstorm what I can do about this…. considering take action discussing with lawyer or husband (it’s the evening so too late to do either now). Not
R: Mind preoccupied with this.
I think I’m wondering if there is ever a time when your thought is actually just true, and that ignoring that thought could be dangerous/harmful/negative?