Is this cognitive dissonance?

I’m working on my overdrinking. I know your method works because on my own I developed a similar system 25 years ago to finally overcome an eating disorder. I remember back then knowing all the changing thoughts around my body and eating were going to work, but I was upset or uncomfortable with the removal of the problem and giving up my brain chatter around the eating disorder. It seemed like such a weird huge void. Back then I was able to move through it(i don’t know how) but with my present overdrinking, I can’t seem to do it. I’m having problems figuring out how to face the weird void of my constant preoccupation and worry over my drinking. I feel like I’m losing my friend (not the alcohol) but my “overdrinking chatter buddy” Can you help figure it out?
The model I want to use is:
C- all my wine triggers–end of the day, stress etc
T- I can drink according to my protocol(3 glasses of wine Friday and Saturday nights)
F- Calm, confident, in control
R-Don’t over drink.
Just reading that result freaks me out??????
Thanks not sure whats up with me.