Is this discomfort?


Hi Everyone,
This month has been amazing for me in terms of uncovering thought/feeling/action patterns (or more likely inaction) that have repeated over and over throughout my life. One of them came up yesterday – I had the idea of totally organizing my kitchen around my food protocol (chicken, vegetables, brown rice, olive oil, spices – which has been amazing for me, but that’s another story for another day). I could get rid of my toaster, my jars of pasta sauce, my stash of Larabars, my juicer, etc. I started to think about how amazingly clean and simple my kitchen would be, I started to feel excited and enthusiastic. But at the same time two other thoughts came up – that’s crazy, what will other people think, and I probably won’t stick to this protocol, so what’s the point. That will just be a waste of time, money and effort. And those made me feel doubtful, anxious, and worried. And I just decided to sit there and feel this specific mix of feelings in my body – a bit elevated heartrate, shallower breathing, tightness in my chest and shoulders, mind racing, kind of jittery, sweaty, and shaky. I thought – I know this, it’s familiar. It’s the feeling in my body that I think of as being over-stimulated – it’s too much, I can’t handle this. I wondered if this is excitement or is it fear or a mix of both. But I sat there feeling it and over time it sort of ebbed and I got on with my day. But I definitely did not make the decision to organize my kitchen to fit my protocol and get rid of everything else. Then this morning it hit me – was that DISCOMFORT!?!?!!? Was that the feeling that I am trying to avoid? Is that what causes me to turn away, avoid decisions, buffer, and generally prevent me from taking action? I’ve decided to just stay open and curious and try to notice when it comes up during the day. But if it is discomfort, I’m also wondering what to do with that knowledge? How do I make decisions and take action while feeling that?