It is hard for me to control my anger/frustration in front of my kids.

I KNOW the feelings that cause my anger are feelings of lack of control when they behave in a way that I am not sure how to handle or tired of handling (i.e: hitting each other out of anger, fighting over silly stuff-being kids). I also get angry because I have a constant feeling of lack of time for ME. I am always giving them my time and in turn not giving myself time. I give them my time because of old feelings of abandonment I carry about my father. These feelings seem so obvious and possibly easy to analyze, but I get STUCK in anger and confusion on how to manage them…and worse I have NOT understood how to managed my feelings for YEARS. I am calm on the outside and explosive on the inside. I see my children picking up on this behavior and I feel terrible, guilty, like I’ve failed! (My “reactions” are NEVER physical, but I am sure the emotional damage in worse for them. I know it was for me, because I saw my Mom do the exact same thing!) Suggestions of where to start, PLEASE! This is my first month of Scholars.