It shouldn’t be this hard


I have a challenge dealing with reoccurring thought in multiple unrelated circumstances “It shouldn’t be this hard” or different variations of it like “It would be easier if it was meant to be” etc. Here is an example of the model:

C Job search (research, doing job applications, interview questions preparation)
T This is so hard
E Doubt
A Procrastinate, considering not doing it at all
R Either I give up or it takes me twice as long as it should have been

This is a pattern throughout my life and I struggle shaking it off. This could be due to my fatalistic belief in destiny, karma and higher power. I give all my power away and it seems that my efforts will not make a difference.

C Goals
T It doesn’t matter what I do, I will have what I am meant to have
F Unmotivated
A Not do anything
R Live unintentional life