A couple models I have that are totally not serving me:
C: Single and employed at Company A
T: All the things I want (married to dream guy and having my own business) are unattainable.
A: Don’t pursue anything with courage, indulge in indecision, assume failure for both relationships and businesses so why start now, create failure by inaction, avoid vulnerability and trusting first, find reasons why this guy or that business won’t work.
R: I don’t let the things I want come easily.
T: It’s hard to fall in love
A: Expect everything to fail, self-sabotage, critical of myself and guys I date, don’t lead with my heart but rather my brain (my primitive brain that just wants things to stay the same – this is an ah ha for me)
R: I don’t make it easy to to love myself and others. I make love hard and something I can’t have.
C: Single and 38
T: I should’ve been married by now
A: Hypercritical of my flaws and those of others, can’t/don’t picture sharing my life with someone, I fear that the guys I do get serious with will stop loving me or I will find them unlovable, lead with my mind rather than my heart in relationships, try to people please family and friends with my decisions, use judgment to protect myself
R: I don’t love myself or the guys I date very well.
I feel like I’ve been peeling back the onion on these particular thoughts and am definitely gaining awareness. But I would appreciate your input on where to go from here – new beliefs, ladder thoughts, etc. I have one new thought that feels true and powerful: “I was created loveable” and I’ve got it filed in the mental catalog of things not to forget:) That mental catalog is getting pretty robust as I enter month 3 of SCS and I’m forgetting things that were super helpful even a month ago as I consume more information and run models.
Can you share advice on my above models and where to go from here, as well as recommendations for keeping track of the new beliefs and thoughts I want to be having?