I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by my brain since stopping buffering: alcohol/weed/tobacco/scrolling

So recently I decided I would only smoke or drink small amounts socially or in celebration. I additionally decided with commitment that I would not allow myself to scroll, and if I caught myself to stop. So far it has been working really well (win!), and I am really proud of myself so far.

However, I’ve been noticing a lot of strange “side effects” to this new journey:

-I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep because my brain is FIRING thoughts, random songs that get stuck in my head, etc.
-I’ve been having trouble meditating because again my thoughts are firing.
-It feels like I’m “living in my head” sometimes I forget to stop and feel my surroundings
-It’s been harder for me to feel “good” I even almost convinced myself once that I must have corona virus because of all the irregularity in my mind and body

On one end, I see this as a HUGE win. I was obviously spiritually bypassing before. I thought I “had this stuff figured out” yet I would smoke, drink, or scroll my anxiety away. Given that I have a coaching business as well, this is a huge opportunity for me to walk the talk and do this work and BE an example of what’s possible.

Yet I’m overwhelmed. All these things are now coming up to work on (and I’ve even started these courses on SCS just haven’t finished any cause I keep stretching myself too thin:

– How to Enjoy Being You (to help with the buffering)
– Money (to make more money as a coach, network marketer/entrepreneur)
– Picking some new creative hobby to pass the time when I would normally be buffering (would this be considered buffering though?) I also noticed with this topic I feel so overwhelmed with indecision .. should I draw? dance? learn how to sing? learn a new instrument? I find myself dabbling in each one and not getting better at any because of indecision and “opportunity fatigue.”

These are the 3 topics that have felt most relevant. I’m excited to change yet also overwhelmed. I really want to get better. I want to ACTUALLY be a conscious creator of my life (one huge breakthrough I am really wanting to prove to myself I can do is make money doing what I love and helping people). Sometimes I get results I want and sometimes I don’t.

I’m starting to question if I’m even making sense .. Where do I begin?