I’ve done wrong


I’m in the middle of an ugly, painful divorce. My husband lied and cheated and didn’t keep his word. I was upset with him. I didn’t praise him enough. I didn’t use communication skills enough. I am telling myself I did things wrong that are irreparable. He doesn’t want to resolve or speak about us at all. I am sure he blames me for his affair and more. My children’s parents are now separated forever. This seems negative, not neutral.

C: Divorce
T: I did something wrong.
F: guilty
A: ruminate over wrongdoing, what I should have done, and wish I could go back and change – also worry that changing would have led us to be together still, and that would have been bad too since it turns out he is this way. I read and listen to relationship coaching. I re-examine my relationship models and try to learn, develop and teach new ones to myself and others. I wish I could talk with my husband to resolve this, but I also feel this could be a mistake because I would be vulnerable to him again. I feel guilty to my children that I didn’t do a good enough job in my relationship with their dad. I feel sad that we have this broken home. I tell myself I can find another partner, but it will never be their dad. Feel upset.
R: ??? I’m not doing something right now????

Stuck. Thank you.