IVF – Infertility – Trying to Conceive

Dear Brooke,

First of all, thank you for this incredible work you are doing. It has really been a game changer for me and is helping me integrate what I learn into my daily life and awareness. Thank you so much for these gifts. I truly appreciate it.

Second, I need help creating new thoughts that serve me in regard to having a baby. I have been through 3 IVF sessions, one miscarriage and do not have any children yet. I am 40. I remember you saying on one coaching video that you have worked with a lot of clients who are dealing with infertility issues, so I am thankful I can reach out to you.

I did a tutoring session with one of your Life Coaches. She was very helpful in helping me identify that my current thoughts about the prior IVF cycles are causing me pain, that I need to let them go, that I can’t indulge in them, and that most of my thought models involve a circumstance I have no control over. Recently, our monthly SCS homework was about new beliefs. As I was preparing for my 3rd IVF cycle my new belief was, “Our babies are on their way. It is possible. It could all work out.”

The 3rd IVF cycle did not result in any embryos. Felt pretty defeated and am working on the come back. I hoping we’ll be able to do a 4th cycle in a few months and I really want to get my thoughts in a good place. My brain is spending a lot of time trying to make sense of everything and I’m low on hope. It also does not help that I can’t imagine living my whole life without ever having children. I am sincerely trying to come to terms with the fact that I may never be able to have my own biological kids. I am also opening myself up to other options such as adoption or even the possibility of a donor egg. Trying to have thoughts around the belief that I will have a beautiful family one way or another, it might just not be the way I have imagined it for the last 40 years (i.e. see strong neural pathway), but those thoughts are causing me to feel sadness.

The tutoring coach recommended I start with bridge thoughts since I am having a hard time creating a thought that feels good. Now my brain is tripping over itself because all of my prior thought models involved the result being that my husband and I have a baby (but I have zero control over that).

A few thoughts the SCS Coach and I worked on:
1) I am open to believing all of this will work out exactly as it should.
2) I am open to believing that I will have the family I am supposed to have.
3) I can have a beautiful family even if it’s not the way I thought it would happen.
4) Keep trying and don’t give up. (I know some other women who would not have their current kids if they did give up. It took four or more attempts. This thought may not be that helpful in that I always believe the next time it will work.)

Overall – all of those thoughts made me feel sadness because I am still believing the family I am supposed to have are biological babies with my husband.

Have been trying this one on for size today: We will still have a beautiful family and we will figure out the how as we go.

Any recommendations or advice to get me headed in the right direction would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much, Brooke.