I have been seeing someone for a couple of months now and he hadn’t given me reason not to trust him. He started posting on social media which he doesn’t usually do, and I’m not proud to admit that I sometimes check who he follows. He started following a younger, very attractive girl and I instantly felt very jealous. She had followed him back. She is from the town that he is from and he goes back there a lot to see family (I haven’t ever been invited to his home town). She has liked all of the pics of him with mates and none of the ones of him with his children.

He recently accused me of trying to make him jealous (which I wasn’t). He did apologize and it seemed quite out of character for him to say something like that. And I have started to wonder if perhaps he was accusing me because he has a guilty conscience.

I feel terrible and I’m withdrawing from him because I don’t want to say something I might regret. I know he will ask me what’s wrong before long. I was so happy in the relationship and I’m scared to lose it, but equally I don’t want to be played. I really want to know who she is, but I am not proud that I check who follows him and who he is following, so feel like I can’t say anything with out making myself look like I am weird for doing that. I am embarrassed.

I keep telling myself I am not my thoughts but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I feel terrible and I’m not sure how to get out of this spin. I know it is my thoughts that are making me feel this way, not the girl, but i just feel stuck.
Thanks, coaches.