JEALOUSY. Andrey and His Ex-Girlfriend Laura of 9 years and his coworker Catie.


Brooke,

This is Katya, and I am Diamond, super grateful for your work. Weight is off; business is UP UP UP!!! One BIG problem with my boyfriend. I am sorry if this is too long.

I am in a relationship with a great guy; we live together in a great place in Manhattan. It’s really easy to love him but I have such a hard time dealing with jealousy. I think it’s my own insecurity, but I really need help. This is my Achilles heel, for sure. Or maybe this is a replacer for the former food obsession? Please help me figure this out.

He used to be in a relationship with a woman for NINE years (he is 31, I am 30), I think they started in college. She looks very much like me ( blond, blue eyes, just shorter). She was older than him ( I don’t know the exact details). They argued a lot during their relationship, but he still thinks she was great. His parents think she was great (his mom talked to me about her a few times). I am boiling inside as I am writing this by the way. Why would she tell me how great Laura was?

I often find things that belong to Laura (his ex) in our house. It’s our house and why should we have pictures of Laura!? Why should we have Christmas cards that are addressed to auntie Laura? I looked in his iPad ( I know I wasn’t supposed to) once and found a whole album of pictures with her. She liked to eat ice-cream with him. They have a ton of ice-cream eating pics together. I cried myself into a hysteria. This is total self-assault.

I DON’T eat ice cream. I eat on protocol, but I know he wants me to ice-cream with him. This makes me hurt inside. I am in such pain that I can’t even do a model on it.

Additionally, he has a coworker at his office, Catie. Catie looks just like Laura. Short, blond, cute, blue eyes, etc. Andrey spends SOOOOO much time with Catie. They go to parties (just the two of them) all the time. Once they left our house at 10:30 p.m. and I he showed up at 7:00 am in the morning. I know they were doing drugs and partying ( I am not into that) but I felt that my boundary was crossed. I texted his mom and told her about her son’s behavior (except the drugs). She said she would do “the work” with him.

Here is the model # 1

C: Andrey keeps Laura’s pictures/cards in our house
T: WTF!!!
F: Rage
A: Get angry, Call him and yell at him, Cry. Also – Leave evidence of my HOT ex-boyfriend around. On purpose.
R: Feel sad after. Time wasted.

C: Andrey keeps Laura’s things in our house
T: I have no idea why would he do that, but if he needs it – sure.
F: indifference
A: Don’t notice it. Don’t react to it.
R: Feel focused on me and my relationship with him.

Here is the model #2

C: Andrey hangs out with Catie
T: She likes her more than me. They totally had sex!
F: Anger, fury.
A: Yell at Andrey, be mean (passive aggressive) with Catie. Tell Andrey about the HOT guy at work that I am chatting with.
R: Feel shallow, controlling. I am starting to like the guy from work…(oh my)

C: Andrey hangs out with Catie
T: My boyfriend has so many friends. Some are boys some are not.
F: Indifference
A: Act totally cool when he goes out with Catie.
R: Stay focused on me and my relationship with him.

I think I am on the right track, but I think I am missing something. What is this telling me about my relationship with me? Why am I so affected by some cards from years ago or some girl from work he likes to go and party with? Do I not fully feel deserving of love? I think that’s my work.

C: Katya
T: I am an awesome human. There is no way Andrey will be interested in anyone else.
F: Desire (in a weird way) for me. Its like desire from me to me.
A: Be the best version of me!
R: Great relationship, friendships, and business.

It looks like I have just helped myself out of this. Please let me know if I am off track or you have a better view on this.